I've been thinking about how much more I like my job this year....this is the same position that I really disliked last year. DA says it is just because I don't accept change well and now I'm finally getting "in the groove". DA is probably right...she usually is; however, I keep thinking that if this is true then I am just going to go through all this again very soon as I plan to find a tenure track job for next year (keep your fingers crossed).
Whatever the difficulties I have with change, that can only be part of the mess for me because there are still many things I don't like about this job. I don't fit in very well in my division or unit. I'm the crazy quant. person in a sea of qual. people. I like numbers and probability...give me a break...I'm a nerd.
On a personal note: I think I may have alienated my best friend this week. Humor doesn't travel well by email and I was misinterpreted which resulted in an outpouring of emotion from her and some statements that I found pretty extreme. Mostly she just said some things that make me think that she really doesn't appreciate me in the same way that I appreciate her. I guess I always believed she would be there for me.....but maybe she wouldn't. Hhhmmm...kind of a not so kind revelation to have about someone that you have counted as your closest friend for several years.
On the subject of friends (yes, I'm in a rambling mood tonight)...my friend turnover rate has been fairly high in the past few years....my decision to go back to school and change jobs has essentially made it hard work to keep up with some friends. I think I've tried....but I need a little effort from the other side as well. So what's going to happen when I get old and crusty.....will I be that old lady who likes nerdy math books and has a million cats?