Guess where I have been?

Here:

I saw lots of interesting places.... however the internet was not good so there was no blogging from this location.

First day of teaching

Today I met both of my classes for the first time and things went well. I really like my doctoral seminar class --it's a great group of students who are really interested in the topic. I'm going to look forward to this group each week. My other class was fine...except for the mob outside the door hoping to get a seat...even though I've had a sign on my door for a week saying the course was closed. # of seats = # of butts--can't change that math.

In other news...I will be flying over the big bond in less than 48 hours. I'm so not ready or willing for this trip..but it is going to happen anyway. At least the paper I'm presenting is done.....still need to make a flashy powerpoint to show of my less than stellar findings.

Sleepy statgirl needs some ZZZZzzzzzz........

T minus 1....

Until the official beginning of the academic year...in terms of contract anyway since classes do not begin for another week. However, there are students swarming back into town and onto campus....Target and Walmsrt and no longer safe places to shop. Tomorrow is the first meeting o' the year. Did I mention how much I love to go to meetings?

Today was a day o' questions: "What classes should I take?" " How long do I have to make up my incomplete?" "What books are we using?" "What do you want to teach in the Spring?" "Do you want a website for your courses?" "Can I get into class X which is closed?"

Meanwhile in my world, I spend the morning on the phone trying to track down a location which would get me foreign currency in less than 2 weeks---sometimes I forget I am not living in a large city. Clearly I put off this task too long..but finally found a bank that could help me out. Not that this issue is taken care of and I also found my passport (took an hour and half ) all the little details are ready for the trip across the ocean. Unfortunately the major issue ---finishing the paper I am going to present--is not yet complete. Will be spending some long hours this weekend working on that issue.

Oh, and syllabi need to be finished (actually just updated as I plan no major overhauls for courses I have taught before). Trying to figure out what my students will be doing/reading while I am away.

Need a little relaxation this evening.....before it all begins.

Home again

Arrived home today around 2:30 and actually completed a couple of errands this afternoon before discovering that a local restaurant has half price appetizers and drinks. The best news of all is that the temperature here is 8 degrees lower and the humidity is half what it was in undergrad city. Sat outside on the patio at the restaurant!!

Had a great time with MrBig....will see him again in just 4 weeks. Meanwhile, I may hyperventilate thinking about all the things that must be completed during that time period.

MrBig and the Fortune Cookie

Yesterday was my first full day back in undergrad city. MrBig and I went out for Chinese at lunch. We opened up our fortune cookies and, of course applied the requisite "in bed" wording at the end of the fortunes. Frustrated because the 'in bed' rule just didn't work at all for my fortune, I looked up at MrBig from who had lost all color in his face.

His fortune: “Look around yourself. Your answer is nearby.”

And then, turn the paper over for your chinese lesson; his word was 'boyfriend'.

You can't make this shit up.

Inside Statgirl's Studio

As seen chez Dr. Crazy:

1. What is your favorite word? chantilly (French--whipped cream)--the word looks pretty, sounds pretty, and tastes good...what more could you want?

2. What is your least favorite word? The "C" word..hate the sound of it.

3. What turns you on? Intelligence and sense of humor

4. What turns you off? detachment (ironic since some have probably used the word to describe me)

5. What is your favorite curse word? I'm not really a user of curse words...but if I get really angry the most likely to fly is "fuck"

6. What sound or noise do you love? Rain

7. What sound or noise do you hate? Sirens

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Architectual Engineer

9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Counseling Psychologist

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Kick back, have a martini and enjoy the afterlife.

Dogs, Undergrad City, and Life as a solo girl

Back to undergrad city last night with a stop on the way to visit GB and DA. Actually, mainly to see the office dog who has cancer; she is on good pain meds now and if you didn't know she was sick you wouldn't be able to tell (well, except for the vomit when the pain meds upset her tummy). This is a huge improvement over 4 weeks ago when GB and DA thought she was in her last days. Too many tears during that trip to old city. Even though it may have been the last time I will see office dog, it wasn't as sad to say good-bye because she was doing so much better. We take our cues from the pet and she is looking good.

Upon arrival in undergrad city, I was greeted by 2 more dogs---who I am sure will be very happy that I am staying home with them today while MrBig goes to work. I'm experienced at mid-day doggie naps and find it to be a perfect working environment. It doesn't contribute to productivity much; however it does remind me of kindergarten days and afternoon nap time.

In other news related to MrBig: we have plans for the next 3 months to see each other for few days here and there. We have been talking about holidays as well. Solo girl that I am, surprisingly thinking into the future isn't scaring me that much. Maybe it is because I know that he lives several hundred miles away. However, I think that even if we lived in the same location this time it wouldn't be making me run. Maybe this time we will get it right; and we just were not meant to be together in our twenties. It's hard to figure out which one of us has changed more; however other times I look at MrBig and think to myself that we haven't changed at all. I don't know for certain about MrBig but I know that in my twenties, I wasn't meant to be with anyone, just couldn't do it... but not for lack of trying. If anyone had had a chance back then it would have been MrBig but I didn't let anyone get that chance.

Have I changed that much now that I am in my thirties? In some ways, I am a completely different person. The career goals or grad school goals that were convenient excuses 10 years ago to stay out of relationships (or even good excuses to use to get out of a relationship once I was in it) are gone. I'm doing what I love, no dreams or wishes to change that. But have I become such a solo girl that there isn't any room for someone else? MrBig kind of takes up a lot of space. I'm not sure yet and one of the nice things is that I'm not getting any pressure to decide that right now because MrBig has some similar questions about himself as well. So where does that leave us? ....spending some time together and enjoying each others company and for right now the fact that we live hundreds of miles apart isn't the issue du jour. I'm looking forward to the next 4 days of life in undergrad city. More updates and thoughts to follow....

Confession

I only stepped out of my house once this entire weekend. I arrive home on Friday afternoon around 4:30 and since then I have been inside...mostly in my PJ's sitting in front of the television and playing games on my laptop. Pathetic, I know, but required hiding from the world. It's all going to start going again very soon.

My one trip outside was to take the trash out today-I was productive inside: cleaned out the fridge, the litter box--all things that had to go outside. Also did some laundry today--so what had to be done got done and I am ready for the week. Only 2 days in the office and then off to undergrad city to see MrBig.

August! How did that happen?!

Don't go away summer (well except for the heat and humidity). I don't want to go back to school. I'm not ready. There is more fun, relaxing and sleeping to be done.

Slowly the school year stuff has been creeping back into my life...conference proposals and papers to write, syllabi to plan, etc.

But, I have one last getaway to visit MrBig for a few days...if I can just finish up a few things before I go. Things with MrBig are going well via email and phone calls.

1st 5 day week in a long time...

since I've been traveling quite a bit this summer. Today was mostly a day of categorizing, organizing, and prioritizing. Managed to lock the computer up in data analyses three times before giving up and just answering a bunch o' emails that were waiting for replies. I avoided all emails asking about textbook choices for fall, I noticed that the bookstore has the title, auther, and ISBN on the website and if students just aren't bright enough to look that up why should I cut and paste info from my syllabus? I've got more pressing issues to take care of.

I'm at a standstill with a student working on a proposal, Stu Dent just can't seem to coordinate the research question with the analyses. Now having been through this same issue numerous times with same Stu Dent I'm just not going to break down and walk Stu through it again. This time Stu is just going to have to figure it out on her own. Too cruel? I think not. (but give me 10 minutes and I might rethink it all.)

MrBig

I've known MrBig for almost 20 years-we either met in the laundry room of our college dorm or perhaps it was at a band party (yes, I was a band geek), each of us recalls a different meeting. The early years of our aquaintance was dotted with undergraduate cat and mouse games, never really together as a couple but not really apart either. We each had our seperate circles of friends and made the requisite rounds of parties and dating. Sometimes finding each other at the same party, we remained friends. I nearly failed calculus my first semester of college and MrBig tried to convince me to go to class (or at least open the book); but I was in love with my new found freedom and the D I earned in that class wasn't all that tramatic (I was rather proud I was able to pass considering the complete lack of effort.) MrBig took school much more seriously than I and I am sure he has a significantly higher GPA as result. We didn't see each other much the last year of college, but very soon into my first semester of grad school I got a snail mail letter from MrBig who was also in grad school in a nearby state. We never saw each other that year and it was a difficult year for me--I lost my dad and barely managed to pull high enough grades to transfer back to a grad program at my undergrad u.


Back in undergrad u city, I resumed my carefree bar frequenting lifestyle and one night I was in my favorite hangout drinking with friends when I ran into MrBig. He had left his grad program, moved back home, and found a job in undergrad city. We started seeing each other but never could really keep it together. Circumstance always seemed to be against us. We found each other again shortly before I left for a year abroad. I even spent my last 5 weeks living with MrBig before I hopped on the plane. That summer was strained. (that's the nicest word I can choose to describe it). It was long year away, but I gave him a second chance when I got home and moved in for a few weeks. Things started out well, but ended up off track again. By the time I moved into my own place, it was over and my heart was broken.


Three months later, I met someone else at a halloween party. Shortly after that MrBig started calling, sending cards, and leaving notes. By this point, I was not going to fall for it again, the pattern was clear to me--he seemed to only want me when I wasn't available and when I was available his actions didn't match his words. That year I got 5 cards for Valentine's Day (and none of them were from the person I was dating). Over the next several years, I didn't see or talk to MrBig. I moved out of state and dated another for almost 4 years. However, a few years later I was back in large city close to undegrad city and ran into MrBig again. A few friendly outings, a camping trip and some movies but nothing more at this time. We both met other people and went our separate ways--I went back to school and he got married.


Fast forward a few more years--I'm now Dr. Statgirl and in another state and he is divorced-- we talk by email but see each other rarely. Emails fly back and forth and a lunch happens here and then a visit there. We visit each other (now that we live states away) and pretend the mutual attraction isn't there. But it is.


Why will this work now when it wouldn't work before? Considering we couldn't make this work when we lived in close proximity, aren't we the most likely candidates for failure at a distance relationship? But MrBig and I keep coming back together....

We recently spent 3 days together at the beach. We talked more than we ever have before and we are going to try to make a long distance relationship work. I'm amazed that MrBig is looking at my current location as a possibility for his future--I never thought he would move away from the area of undergrad city. The more we talk I'm finding that my perceptions of MrBig have often been incorrect. I think he is finding the same to be true about some of his perceptions of me as well.


"Men are the like the New York Time sunday Crossword puzzle--tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you got the right answer." --Carrie Bradshaw

Weekend

Evening gathering was fine...food, fun, and games. The great game table in my dining room was finaally baptized with a rousing game of "tri-bond". What do the barrier reef, Alexander, and frosted flakes have in common? --"They're greeeaaatt!" Yes, that was actually a cheesy question I got.

I've fallen for the Smirnoff tea drinks--especially the lemon. They are even better on the beach! However, we also had a more civilized rose d'anjou that was also quite tasty with the apps.

Finally unpacked my bag from the beach --kind of hoping that I wasn't really home until it got unpacked---but eventually one must unpack and wash the clothing.

Tomorrow, I plan to sleep in, read the Potter and play some Warcraft and rest up for some serious work that needs to happen this next week if I am to say that anything was accomplished this summer. The complete lack of structure these past 2 months has been horrible for me, nothing academic accomplished which is not good for pre-tenure me.

Moving...

Not me this time, but Dr. Dice, my closest friend in new job city. I knew her before I moved here and we knew our time together would most likely be short. She has a great new job 2 states away and the movers are coming next week. So, tonight we gather and eat and drink and laugh. I will miss having her and the Bryguy across town. Thankfully, I will get to see her now and then when she comes back to town to visit her children.

Everybody is doing it.....

Not really a shocker....except on the multiple intelligences I am surprised that verbal/linguistic is so high (guess it is my foreign language ability)

No wait--this is interesting :

Population: 1.5% (2.5% male, 0.5% female) [this is for the INTJ type]

Hhhmmm....guess this proves how strange I am.

Pics from the beach...

I don't think I would appreciate these scenes nearly as much if I didn't spend all year long in a land locked state...

I hate it when...

right as you are about to leave the house it starts pouring rain. Of course this wouldn't have happened today if the cat hadn't been a pain and ran under the bed when it was time to take her pill. She must think that I am going to take her back to the KittyCondo and leave her --she just returned from a 2-week stint.

Vacation: RBoC style

Where have I been for the last 2 weeks?

• Back to grad school city and undergrad city trip was 6 days long and was good and bad and sad. I got to have dinner at my favorite place --mmmm lobster tails with vanilla champagne sauce! I spent time with friends that I miss very much. However, I have to admit that since I have moved I have lost a few pounds because I don't spend so much time with them--DA and GB are great cooks! [err...uhh...could be that I now consume fewer martini's?...nah...must be the food. ]
• Last part of trip was to undergrad city where I saw MrBig again (longtime friend and sometimes lover)--a bit confused about where this ended (see following bullets). Enjoyed just being back in undergrad city.
• Back home for 2 days --completely unproductive at the office.
• Finally...GIRL'S WEEKEND at the beach--had a super time with the Stingray Sisters (Blondie and Chick-Fil-A)! Chick has been very stressed and is finally getting to a happier place, I think. Blondie needed to get away as well. We were also joined by Blondie's step daughter who was great fun even though she wasn't feeling that great. Lots of lounging on the beach and giggling about silly girl stuff.
• Sunday the girls left and MrBig came to the beach for my last 3 days. It was a good 3 days. We have known each other for nearly 20 years but probably learned more about each other in the last 3 days..... (bigger post brewing here). Some of the confusion from prior visit to undergrad city was cleared up. I think I'll be seeing more of MrBig. :-)
• Purchased Harry Potter at the airport and was totally engrossed for 2 flights --suddenly I was home. Harry is going to be my main squeeze for the next few days--love the Potter!

Have I mentioned that classes start in a few weeks.......where did summer go??

Eating my posts?

Just logged in to discover that my last 5 posts have disappeared?? Hmmm...I know I haven't been too regular about my getting back into blogging--however, did blogger really hate what I had to say that much?!?

Pondering a return to blogging

Well, where have I been?

• Finishing my first year on the tenure track
• Not writing as much as I should
• Sitting through way too many meeting (my dept. is way beyond 2 sd on this one)
• Sitting on the other side of the hiring process
• Playing too much World of Warcraft
• Thinking about my future in a changing department
• Working with students
• Reading blogs everyday and sometimes commenting
• And....... pondering a return to blogging.

Maybe a retun to bloging will help me.....

• get into at least some sort of writing routine
• process thoughts about my career ...and life in general
• reestablish contact with bloggy friends

Maybe?