4 days since I'm back from the beach and it's finally time to get a summer routine going. Summer school starts next week and I am suddenly very aware of how little time I have left in Midwest city. Rarely do I start anticipating the end even before the beginning; however, this time the clock is ticking for me. After 8 years in the same place, I'm leaving. New town, new job, new faces, new routines, and new house.
On the house front all is well, inspection scheduled for next week, mortgage approved, and I only panic about finances once or twice a day (down from the 10 or 20 times a day right after I made the offer). Still need to find insurance and hire a moving company but the list of tasks is managable at the moment.
The real question of the moment is why does change cause me so much stress? I realize that changing jobs and moving are on the top 5 stressors of all time for most people, but I seem to get stuck on the details more than most and get anxious at the wrong times. I have dreams about things that are so NOT likely to happen --like finding out my new job suddenly just isn't there or losing my cat during the move. Stress does weird things to my brain.
The beach was good, relaxing for me in general; althought not quite the same with my friends. We are growing apart in some ways and taking different paths. I am concerned about one friend and was so close to talking to her about it at about 4 different points during the trip but could never bring myself to open my mouth. So now I feel like a terrible friend because I think the real reason I didn't say anything is that I don't want to add anything more to my plate to deal with at the moment. I know it would be a big can of worms. So now am I a terrible and selfish friend?