1:30 am --grilled cheese sandwich

Seriously....is there anything else that doesn't involve a drive-through that would taste better after 2 martinis, 2 beers and 2 shots involving the word "nipple" (not necessarily in that order)???

On Avoidance

Avoiding what? --Everything. . .

Yes, I have been avoiding my blog--10 days since last posting. I have been lurking around reading other's blogs and occasionally commenting, but completeing avoiding posting comments on my current state of existence.

Here is the update--random bullets of crap style:

• All signs of academic work are completely gone from my daily lack of routine. I have been writing a results section now for a good 3 + weeks at the rate of about 4 sentences per week. Pathetic. I have given the analysis considerable thought and played around extensively running the computer program (always good for wasting a few hours of my day)--yet very few keystrokes have placed words on paper.
• House stuff is moving along -inspection, repairs, setting up utilities, etc. Will be MY house in just 4 days. Certainly looking forward to visiting with Dr. Dice during my trip to close the deal.
• Students won't go away--geez, this teaching gig would be easier without them. In the well chosen words of Seeking Solace "Students will just be students. Some are good, some are bad, and some are just plain dumb." It is this last group that really gets my undies in a bundle. One student actually complained last week that his problem was that I explained things too well and because I made it so clear in class he didn't feel the need to study because he thought he really "got it"; however when faced with the exam, he wasn't able to make the logical connections that he thought were so obvious when I talked him through it. ---Well, duh--- hence why one should review class notes, texts etc BEFORE an exam. It's your job to put it together without me there prompting you through each step.
• Packing progress--NONE. I have now mapped out July 8 & 9 as "Power packing days" --the bulk of it must be completed that weekend as soon after that time I will be busy with end of summer semester and settled into my temporary housing until final move.
• Money seems to be a on a steady stream out of my bank account--scary!
• I have lost 6 lbs without even trying--one upside to being anxious. I am amazed by this feat, especially since I have eaten through 3 pints of Dove Chocolate & Brownie Affair (with the chocolate granache topping) in the last 10 days.

One thing I am not currently avoiding is social occasions. Although I tend to be a stay at home person; I have made a point to accept every social invitation--citing my need to spend some time with people before I move away. Many of my friends and co-workers are also making moves for sabbatical, internships, etc. and in some ways it is good that we are all sharing similar anxieties but also very difficult because no one is a steady calm to keep us grounded. Thank goodness for the office dog. All heed her calming force.

Too tired for a real post.

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Not that shocking....

As seen chez Abbey and phd_me :

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Summer Weekends!

I have successfully spent this entire weekend at home. Now for some people that might not be a good thing but after spending all my weekends this past winter and spring at the office working on my dissertation or some other project that had to get done; I really relished a weekend of not having to be there in my chair in front of the computer working on some project.

What did I do? I cleaned out stuff--I'm beginning the cleaning and purging that is necessary before a big move. I'm trying to get a few things together for a friend's garage sale next weekend. Any leftovers will go to goodwill and hopefully my packing project will be simplified. Still have a few more closets and boxes to sort through but the progress is encouraging and since I plan on working at home 2 days this week, there is more time to finish before sale time.

Each evening this week I watched a movie and went to bed early. I did not set an alarm and got up when I felt like it--8 am on Sat and 10:30 am today. Woo hoo..summer weekends. I need something to look forward too in the midst of all the stressful changes that are happening.

Back from the beach

4 days since I'm back from the beach and it's finally time to get a summer routine going. Summer school starts next week and I am suddenly very aware of how little time I have left in Midwest city. Rarely do I start anticipating the end even before the beginning; however, this time the clock is ticking for me. After 8 years in the same place, I'm leaving. New town, new job, new faces, new routines, and new house.
On the house front all is well, inspection scheduled for next week, mortgage approved, and I only panic about finances once or twice a day (down from the 10 or 20 times a day right after I made the offer). Still need to find insurance and hire a moving company but the list of tasks is managable at the moment.
The real question of the moment is why does change cause me so much stress? I realize that changing jobs and moving are on the top 5 stressors of all time for most people, but I seem to get stuck on the details more than most and get anxious at the wrong times. I have dreams about things that are so NOT likely to happen --like finding out my new job suddenly just isn't there or losing my cat during the move. Stress does weird things to my brain.
The beach was good, relaxing for me in general; althought not quite the same with my friends. We are growing apart in some ways and taking different paths. I am concerned about one friend and was so close to talking to her about it at about 4 different points during the trip but could never bring myself to open my mouth. So now I feel like a terrible friend because I think the real reason I didn't say anything is that I don't want to add anything more to my plate to deal with at the moment. I know it would be a big can of worms. So now am I a terrible and selfish friend?